Monday 16 May 2011

Ass Goblins of Auschwitz



In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children.

While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids.

Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered.


Do I want to download this for my kindle or not? I'm torn in two minds as to whether or not I admire the ingenuity or despise the obvious flirtation with controversy. (Perhaps "slutting up to controversy" would be more apt...)

16 comments:

  1. I thought someone had just published an RPG book to one-up some of the other shock-and-awe small press publishers. :D

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  2. I don't even know what to say about that.

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  3. Attack Press? Save yourself an hour or so, don't bother. The books are a literary in-joke that got out of hand. Art school Tarquins playing at being schlockpunks: Nathan Barley reads Irvine Walsh or Iain Banks and thinks "Dead easy!"

    I read a couple of AP books a while back (Raiders of the Low Forehead & Tits Out Teen Terror Totty). Tedious trash. They were like Clockwork Orange after ECT, or Douglas Adams minus any wit, style or talent.

    You get better literary style and more nuanced storytelling in 2000AD.

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  4. Yeah, trying too hard.

    That would be a great name for a band though.

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  5. Ilzza, She Necromancer of the SS :)

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  6. I know I'm getting a bit cantankerous in my olde age, but that seems more than a little inappropriate.

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  7. This discussion goes well with the now deleted comment thread on a similar topic at Grognardia. There's been a lot of overlap between gaming and grindhouse cinema over the years, although not specifically this sub-genre (this book is an obvious reference to Nazisploitation films from the 60s/70s).

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  8. Looks like a contractual obligation filler to me...

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  9. It seems inappropriate to me too, but I guess I'm too jaded to be shocked or appalled by it.

    I'm torn between believing Chris, who paints a very convincing picture of what the book will probably be like, and morbid curiosity to find out what "bizzaro fiction" is really like...

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  10. Maybe it'd get tiresome after reading a whole book like that...

    But what I've read so far just gave me a big fuckin' grin, just because I know some uptight douchebag is going to pop a monocle.

    Kinda makes me feel like free speech still exists, and I like that feeling.

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  11. sounds like a virgin high schooler read Gravity's Rainbow and Clockwork Orange, understood nothing and decided to become a controversial writer. Avoid at all costs!

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  12. I know, I always wonder what the context of quotes like that are. "If you are a brain-dead moron with nothing better to do with his time than read books with titles like Ass Goblins of Auschwitz, this is a must read!"?

    "If you are 13 years old and you don't have any friends, this is a must read!"?

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  13. Is anyone else stuck on the plight of Prisoner 1000?

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  14. Well, if you do read it, be sure to let us know how it goes.

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  15. I'm partial to a bit of pesky shit-stirring in literature, but this seems both puerile and overdone. I'm thinking arse-goblins could work by itsefl; conjoined twins could work by itself; auschwitz run by aliens could work by itself; but combining them is just too obviously controversy for its own sake...

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