Speaking of escapism, what about a campaign based around winning the lottery?
I'm not talking about a group of people sitting around masturbating while imagining the wonderful things they could do with millions of pounds, nor a horrible emo-trip in which people imagine how being filthy rich wouldn't make you happy. I'm imagining something like an Unknown Armies campaign in which a group of friends who acted as a euromillions syndicate decide to use their £185 million jackpot as seed money for discovering what really happened at Area 51. Or to build a submarine to find the lost city of Atlantis. Or to buy a ship for exploring and exploiting shipwreck sites. Or to try to find out who Jack the Ripper really was....
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Monday, 16 May 2011
Ass Goblins of Auschwitz
In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children.
While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids.
Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered.
Do I want to download this for my kindle or not? I'm torn in two minds as to whether or not I admire the ingenuity or despise the obvious flirtation with controversy. (Perhaps "slutting up to controversy" would be more apt...)
Sunday, 15 May 2011
d100 FTW!
I went to see China Mieville do a reading from his new book, Embassytown, along with a Q&A session, at a local bookshop on Friday evening. And a nice and interesting guy he was too. I was particularly impressed that he openly and merrily sang the praises of roleplaying games; even though I should have been expecting this, as it is something he is wont to do, it bears repeating just how rare and precious a thing this is: a respected writer on his way to becoming a giant in the field, and a genuine crossover success, who has absolutely no shame saying he likes D&D and RuneQuest.
Anyway, I duly queued up with the herd (which also included local fantasy/horror luminary Ramsay Campbell) and got my copy of Embassytown signed. I think this just about says it all:
Anyway, I duly queued up with the herd (which also included local fantasy/horror luminary Ramsay Campbell) and got my copy of Embassytown signed. I think this just about says it all:
Sunday, 8 May 2011
The Great Escape
I've written before about escapism on more than one occasion. Suffice to say (for those who can't be bothered clicking links or opening new tabs) I'm one of those people who thinks that escapism is one of the most noble of human pursuits, perhaps the noblest of all, and it should be trumpeted to the heavens as one of the finest features of the hobby which you and I enjoy. The fact that 'escapism' is treated as a dirty word by the intellectual elites in our societies is rather a sad indictment of prevailing sentiments of the age.
This is why, generally speaking, I think that fantasy and SF are the genres which gamers tend to love. At the moment I'm running a quasi-historical gonzo-horror affair and it's nice - nothing to complain about - but I've found a certain sense of malaise setting in when I sit down to plan the next session. The real world is a wonderful place, but there is something lacking when using it as the basis for an RPG campaign; the creativity that goes into that process feels impure somehow, and pales in comparison to the flights of fancy the imagination can go on when unrestrained by "reality".
I believe this is the real reason for the prevailing popularity of familiar brands such as D&D, Traveller, and the like. Escaping to Timbuktu is all well and good, but escaping to Waterdeep or the Planet Zong is better; why have cotton when you can have silk?
This is why, generally speaking, I think that fantasy and SF are the genres which gamers tend to love. At the moment I'm running a quasi-historical gonzo-horror affair and it's nice - nothing to complain about - but I've found a certain sense of malaise setting in when I sit down to plan the next session. The real world is a wonderful place, but there is something lacking when using it as the basis for an RPG campaign; the creativity that goes into that process feels impure somehow, and pales in comparison to the flights of fancy the imagination can go on when unrestrained by "reality".
I believe this is the real reason for the prevailing popularity of familiar brands such as D&D, Traveller, and the like. Escaping to Timbuktu is all well and good, but escaping to Waterdeep or the Planet Zong is better; why have cotton when you can have silk?
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Update on Earthquakes
So much for blogging every day. Real life got in the way in a big way during January and February - a whole host of things that will have to remain private so as to protect the innocent.
Anyway, a few people, knowing I lived in Japan, have emailed or commented asking if I'm okay. So I thought I'd give an update.
My wife and I moved back semi-permanently to the UK last year, but we were in Japan on holiday between the 5th and 21st of March, so we happened to be in the middle of Tokyo when the earthquake hit. It was a frightening experience - you could tell straight away that this was a big one, because you could feel the ground moving even in the street; you get lots of minor earthquakes in Japan, probably once every two weeks or so, but normally you only feel them if you're sitting down indoors. But essentially there was no harm done to either of us.
However, my wife's home town is Kesennuma city, very close to the epicentre, so the same can't be said of her family, who are all still in one piece but who have lost everything. When the earthquake happened they had about 10 minutes to grab whatever belongings they could, get in the car, and flee before the tsunami hit. Their house was only about 200 yards from the sea front and has been entirely swept away. Apparently all that remains is a single tile from the vestibule.
The main thing is that everybody's safe, obviously, but this has been a bit of a hammer blow to the entire family, of course. My wife and I came back to Britain as planned on the 21st, but will be going back to Japan as soon as possible to provide whatever help we can. We would have stayed anyway, but with no way of actually getting to Kesennuma (all trains are off and there's not enough petrol to drive) and without an infinite supply of money, we had no choice but to beat a temoporary retreat.
For anybody interested in the nuclear situation, I'd say it's been blown out of all proportion by a rather sensationalist and voyeuristic foreign media. Luckily the Japanese media, and public, have reacted in a very measured way, and in my view the behaviour of the government has been competent enough. The operating company of the power plant, Tokyo Denryoku, has been less than impressive in its handling of the media, but otherwise seems to have done what is necessary to prevent a crisis becoming a catastrophe.
My tip for the future is that Yukio Edano, the Chief Cabinet Secretary and government spokesman during the aftermath of the disaster, will have a big future in Japanese politics. He's been a constant on Japanese TV giving statements and press conferences, and has exuded nothing but calm, competence, and stability. This puts him in stark contrast to Prime Minister Naoto Kan, who has been practically invisible and ineffectual even when he's appeared.
Anyway, a few people, knowing I lived in Japan, have emailed or commented asking if I'm okay. So I thought I'd give an update.
My wife and I moved back semi-permanently to the UK last year, but we were in Japan on holiday between the 5th and 21st of March, so we happened to be in the middle of Tokyo when the earthquake hit. It was a frightening experience - you could tell straight away that this was a big one, because you could feel the ground moving even in the street; you get lots of minor earthquakes in Japan, probably once every two weeks or so, but normally you only feel them if you're sitting down indoors. But essentially there was no harm done to either of us.
However, my wife's home town is Kesennuma city, very close to the epicentre, so the same can't be said of her family, who are all still in one piece but who have lost everything. When the earthquake happened they had about 10 minutes to grab whatever belongings they could, get in the car, and flee before the tsunami hit. Their house was only about 200 yards from the sea front and has been entirely swept away. Apparently all that remains is a single tile from the vestibule.
The main thing is that everybody's safe, obviously, but this has been a bit of a hammer blow to the entire family, of course. My wife and I came back to Britain as planned on the 21st, but will be going back to Japan as soon as possible to provide whatever help we can. We would have stayed anyway, but with no way of actually getting to Kesennuma (all trains are off and there's not enough petrol to drive) and without an infinite supply of money, we had no choice but to beat a temoporary retreat.
For anybody interested in the nuclear situation, I'd say it's been blown out of all proportion by a rather sensationalist and voyeuristic foreign media. Luckily the Japanese media, and public, have reacted in a very measured way, and in my view the behaviour of the government has been competent enough. The operating company of the power plant, Tokyo Denryoku, has been less than impressive in its handling of the media, but otherwise seems to have done what is necessary to prevent a crisis becoming a catastrophe.
My tip for the future is that Yukio Edano, the Chief Cabinet Secretary and government spokesman during the aftermath of the disaster, will have a big future in Japanese politics. He's been a constant on Japanese TV giving statements and press conferences, and has exuded nothing but calm, competence, and stability. This puts him in stark contrast to Prime Minister Naoto Kan, who has been practically invisible and ineffectual even when he's appeared.
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
[Inspirational Pictures V] Bish Bash Bosch
For works that are in the public domain and useful for flavour art, you could do a lot worse than Hieronymus Bosch:
Monday, 17 January 2011
Medelpad Chestnuts
The forest of Medelpad is famous for its chestnut trees. In one remote, hidden grove deep within it, there is a stand of these trees which appears to have magical properties. Various explanations for this phenomenon exist: some say a god died there long ago and the trees' roots burrow down to his vast corpse; others attribute it to faeries; others say the trees themselves contain the souls of dead sorcerers and witches. Some nuts from the trees of this grove have beneficial effects when eaten, while some are damaging; most have no effect at all.
Medelpad Chestnuts
Within the forest of Medelpad during autumn there are usually hundreds of chestnuts freely available, either on the ground or in the trees; however, it is only within the secret grove itself that they are imbued with magic. Even there, only 1 in 12 are special in any way (roll 1d12 to determine whether a given nut is magical; at the height of autumn 10d100 nuts can be gathered in the grove, while in winter 3d100 can be gathered, in spring 1d100, and in summer 1d20). Detect Magic spells work as usual, though an Identify spell is required to know the nature of the effect of eating a specific nut.
A magical chestnut will have one of the following properties (roll a d100; for caster level, assume level 3; effects only act on the eater):
01 - Increases a random stat by +1, permanently
02-05 - Allows the eater to levitate at will for one week
06-10 - Acts as a neutralise poison spell
11-15 - Acts as a lasting breath spell
16-20 - Makes the eater immune to paralysing attacks and spell effects for one week
21-25 - Allows the eater to detect evil at will for one week
26-30 - Makes the eater invisible to animals for one day
31-35 - Makes the eater invisible to undead for one day
36-40 - Acts as a protection from evil spell
41-45 - Acts as an augury spell
46-50 - Acts as a speak with animals spell
51-55 - Acts as a cure blindness spell
56-60 - Acts as a cure disease spell
61-70 - Acts as an insatiable thirst spell
71-75 - Acts as a speak with the dead spell
76-80 - Acts as a call woodland beings spell
81-95 - Acts as a goodberry
96-98 - Allows the eater to commune with nature three times a day for a week
99 - Acts as a cause critical wounds spell
00 - Acts as a power word: kill spell
Medelpad Chestnuts
Within the forest of Medelpad during autumn there are usually hundreds of chestnuts freely available, either on the ground or in the trees; however, it is only within the secret grove itself that they are imbued with magic. Even there, only 1 in 12 are special in any way (roll 1d12 to determine whether a given nut is magical; at the height of autumn 10d100 nuts can be gathered in the grove, while in winter 3d100 can be gathered, in spring 1d100, and in summer 1d20). Detect Magic spells work as usual, though an Identify spell is required to know the nature of the effect of eating a specific nut.
A magical chestnut will have one of the following properties (roll a d100; for caster level, assume level 3; effects only act on the eater):
01 - Increases a random stat by +1, permanently
02-05 - Allows the eater to levitate at will for one week
06-10 - Acts as a neutralise poison spell
11-15 - Acts as a lasting breath spell
16-20 - Makes the eater immune to paralysing attacks and spell effects for one week
21-25 - Allows the eater to detect evil at will for one week
26-30 - Makes the eater invisible to animals for one day
31-35 - Makes the eater invisible to undead for one day
36-40 - Acts as a protection from evil spell
41-45 - Acts as an augury spell
46-50 - Acts as a speak with animals spell
51-55 - Acts as a cure blindness spell
56-60 - Acts as a cure disease spell
61-70 - Acts as an insatiable thirst spell
71-75 - Acts as a speak with the dead spell
76-80 - Acts as a call woodland beings spell
81-95 - Acts as a goodberry
96-98 - Allows the eater to commune with nature three times a day for a week
99 - Acts as a cause critical wounds spell
00 - Acts as a power word: kill spell
Friday, 14 January 2011
The Undead Pigs of Andong
(Inspired by this news story.)
The hills and forests of Andong, it is said, were once a tranquil and beautiful wilderness, famous for its many varieties of orchid and the peculiar clarity of its light. Now it is a dark and desolate region, where the trees are tough and blackened and no flowers can grow. This is all due to the depridations of what the locals call the Dwaeji - roaming packs of black-eyed and grey-skinned pigs which devour any living thing they can find: plant, animal, or human.
Legend has it that an ancient king of Andong ordered twelve thousand of his people's pigs to be buried alive to stop the spread of an uncontrollable sickness across the land. These swine died the most painful and terrifying of deaths, but their souls were unable to rise from their bodies through the earth which covered them. Over the centuries they became progressively more enraged, hateful and insane, so that when finally they were dug free by unsuspecting farmers they spread across the land, motivated by their fury and malice, destroying anything that was alive in incoherent spite.
Dwaeji, Undead Pig of Andong
Armour Class: 5
Hit Dice: 2*
Move: 180'
Attacks: 1 bite
Damage: d6+2
No. App: 20-200 (20d10)
Save As: F2
Morale: N/A
Treasure: None
Intelligence: 1
Alignment: Chaotic
XP: 55
Type: Undead, uncommon
Dwaeji enter a killing frenzy if they encounter anything alive, and will attack it relentlessly until destroyed. They never check for morale.
The hills and forests of Andong, it is said, were once a tranquil and beautiful wilderness, famous for its many varieties of orchid and the peculiar clarity of its light. Now it is a dark and desolate region, where the trees are tough and blackened and no flowers can grow. This is all due to the depridations of what the locals call the Dwaeji - roaming packs of black-eyed and grey-skinned pigs which devour any living thing they can find: plant, animal, or human.
Legend has it that an ancient king of Andong ordered twelve thousand of his people's pigs to be buried alive to stop the spread of an uncontrollable sickness across the land. These swine died the most painful and terrifying of deaths, but their souls were unable to rise from their bodies through the earth which covered them. Over the centuries they became progressively more enraged, hateful and insane, so that when finally they were dug free by unsuspecting farmers they spread across the land, motivated by their fury and malice, destroying anything that was alive in incoherent spite.
Dwaeji, Undead Pig of Andong
Armour Class: 5
Hit Dice: 2*
Move: 180'
Attacks: 1 bite
Damage: d6+2
No. App: 20-200 (20d10)
Save As: F2
Morale: N/A
Treasure: None
Intelligence: 1
Alignment: Chaotic
XP: 55
Type: Undead, uncommon
Dwaeji enter a killing frenzy if they encounter anything alive, and will attack it relentlessly until destroyed. They never check for morale.
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Pointless and Unacceptable Levels of Pretension
Broadly, you can divide Western thinkers since the Enlightenment into two categories - the top-down gang (who wish to transform and manage society from the centre, or top, on down) and the bottom-up brigade (who believe in very slow, unconscious and incremental social change, if at all). I prefer to call them "wrong" and the "right", respectively, but your mileage may vary. Anyway, you can also place roleplaying games into those categories, thusly - the idea being that one approach is to the attempt to legislate "from the top" (the rulebook) while the other is a small-state laissez-faire methodology which lets DMs and players come to their own conclusions when playing the game, within a very bare framework of rules:
Top-down gang
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Karl Marx
Sydney & Beatrice Webb
Georges Sorel
D&D 3rd Edition
WHFRP 3rd Edition
GURPS (any edition)
Bottom-up brigade
Edmund Burke
Friedrich Hayek
Karl Popper
George Orwell
OD&D
Risus
Tunnels & Trolls
Interestingly, though these two categories can be mapped somewhat accurately to terms like "new school" and "old school" respectively, there isn't neccessarily a perfect correlation. Rolemaster is definitely a top-downer, for instance, while Blood & Honour is very much a bottom-upper. Also, while I consider myself a member of the bottom-up brigade (the more I write that phrase, the more it sounds like a homophobic euphemism of some kind...) there are some such games I dislike (The Window, Old World of Darkness) and some top-downers I enjoy (Rolemaster). Which just goes to show something, though I'm not sure what.
Perhaps this post is just a roundabout way of saying some games are rules-lite and some are not, but where would the fun be in simply stating that?
Top-down gang
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Karl Marx
Sydney & Beatrice Webb
Georges Sorel
D&D 3rd Edition
WHFRP 3rd Edition
GURPS (any edition)
Bottom-up brigade
Edmund Burke
Friedrich Hayek
Karl Popper
George Orwell
OD&D
Risus
Tunnels & Trolls
Interestingly, though these two categories can be mapped somewhat accurately to terms like "new school" and "old school" respectively, there isn't neccessarily a perfect correlation. Rolemaster is definitely a top-downer, for instance, while Blood & Honour is very much a bottom-upper. Also, while I consider myself a member of the bottom-up brigade (the more I write that phrase, the more it sounds like a homophobic euphemism of some kind...) there are some such games I dislike (The Window, Old World of Darkness) and some top-downers I enjoy (Rolemaster). Which just goes to show something, though I'm not sure what.
Perhaps this post is just a roundabout way of saying some games are rules-lite and some are not, but where would the fun be in simply stating that?
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
My Mind Ghouls Wanna Get Fed
Curse of the Mind Ghouls
4th Level Clerical Spell
Range: Touch
Duration: Permanent
Effect: Cannibalistic insanity
This hex, when cast, causes the victim to believe his own mind to be possessed by cannibal ghosts that crave to be fed. Unless his will and resolve are exceptionally strong, sooner or later he will find himself unable to stave off the urge to devour human flesh.
On being stricken by the curse of the mind ghouls, the victim begins to hear voices within his head begging, pleading, demanding, and urging to be fed. Their clamouring is constant and uncontrollable; it does not stop even during sleep. Each day the cursed individual must successfully save versus death. A failed save means that his resolve has been broken by the sheer obstinacy of his mind ghouls, and he will attempt to kill and eat the first human he sees.
The curse of the mind ghouls only affects humans. It can be cured only by a wish or remove curse spell.
4th Level Clerical Spell
Range: Touch
Duration: Permanent
Effect: Cannibalistic insanity
This hex, when cast, causes the victim to believe his own mind to be possessed by cannibal ghosts that crave to be fed. Unless his will and resolve are exceptionally strong, sooner or later he will find himself unable to stave off the urge to devour human flesh.
On being stricken by the curse of the mind ghouls, the victim begins to hear voices within his head begging, pleading, demanding, and urging to be fed. Their clamouring is constant and uncontrollable; it does not stop even during sleep. Each day the cursed individual must successfully save versus death. A failed save means that his resolve has been broken by the sheer obstinacy of his mind ghouls, and he will attempt to kill and eat the first human he sees.
The curse of the mind ghouls only affects humans. It can be cured only by a wish or remove curse spell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)