Campaign Hooks in Spam

I get a lot of spam comments on blogger, as I'm sure everybody does. Some recent ones I've been getting have a real Unknown Armies feel to them and would make great concepts to begin a campaign in that kind of modern horror setting. Here are two examples, shorn of links and email addresses:

I have been casting spells for many years and I have helped many people, I might be able to help you too. I am honest, and I genuinely care for all the clients who choose me to cast a spell for them.

If you have any questions about Love, Money, curse, protection, bad luck, divorce, court cases, or about me please call or email me. I really want you to feel comfortable before moving forward with any spells, or other services. I will take the time to explain things to you and provide you with honest advice, to what is best for your situation. I will not pressure you into having a spell cast, I will leave that decision up to you, and when or if you decide to move forward, I might be able to help you.

I will respect your Privacy. I will not seek to obtain any of your personal information beyond what you might voluntarily offer and all information you might give me including emails, phone numbers and photos will remain private and confidential.

I perform my Rituals only at night between the hours of 0.00 - 0.59 (South African time) lasting 1 hour but of course, this depends on the nature of the ritual, some rituals might take hours and can also become necessary to be performed at specials places like; flowing streams, cemeteries and other places dictated by the gods.

I do not want anyone to be under any illusions about my spells and its numerous rituals. Real and effective Voodoo is no child's play, it is expensive because, after the rituals, I will have to destroy all the materials involved by fire and the ashes scattered over a flowing stream or river. You will get what you seek. But please understand this might take a lot of time and that individual results may vary.

-Dr Ougudu Solution Temple

Are you tired of being human, having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten minutes, Do you want to have power and influence over others, To be charming and desirable, To have wealth, health, without delaying in a good human posture and becoming an immortal? If yes, these your chance. It's a world of vampire where life get easier,We have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich, You will assured long life and prosperity, You shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness, Stronger and also very fast, You will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, This is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture. If you are interested contact us on [redacted].

-Lord Mark

Then there's also the inimitable JP Monfort, possibly the most prolific spammer of all time, who I have been meaning to mention in a blogpost for some years. I get emails from this man on a more-or-less daily basis to my work inbox, and this is typical:

JPMONFORTUNITEDKINGDOM THE OFFICE OF JP MONFORT | Building 200 Presidential Teams | [redacted]     Monthly Meetings Begin Q1 2019 at Hotel Savoy in London (United Kingdom) Telephone [redacted] Email [redacted] Website [redacted]

 All Britons Are Welcome, We Will Be Waiting for You 

We have invited you to join the Presidential team in your country. J.P.Monfort is currently setting up 200 presidential teams worldwide, inviting and nominating thousands of top-notch Experts in order to build multidisciplinary teams that will meet once a month and construct creative, imaginative, prospective and analytical policymaking proposals. 

Please remain patient and refer to the following two introductory articles published on The Huffington Post "Why I Embrace Integration " and "Fiction States ". 

For more information read The Monfort Plan summary. Congratulations on the nomination to join your country's most prestigious team, you are one of your country's best Experts and a potential crew member in the World's most revolutionary journey towards the best possible future, a borderless World of Eutopia and Cornucopia. You may now open the World Map of Fiction States . To confirm your Nomination to the Presidential Team send your Resume to confirm (at) jpmonfort (dot) eu. More from our side very soon. Please remain patient.