Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Spelljammer Star Trek

Apropos of my post the other day, I was thinking about how you might map the Star Trek: The Next Generation crew to D&D classes and races for Spelljammer. Sounds like the geekiest thing ever, I know, but before you get the urge to point and shout 'nerd!' I should stress that I was thinking about it while watching a game of rugby, drinking six pints of Guiness, making millions on the stockmarket and having sex with three cheerleaders.

Anyway, so, here's the original series crew:

Kirk - Human fighter.
Spock - Half-elf mage.
Bones - Human cleric.
Scottie - Dwarf bard.
Uhura - Human bard.
Sulu - Arcane.
Chekhov - Tinker-gnome.

NextGen:

Picard - Human fighter/mage.
Data - Thri-kreen.
Geordie - Tinker-gnome.
Worf - Giff.
Troi - Human (level 0).
Tasha Yar - Scro.
Guinan - Illithid.
Riker - Human fighter.
Wesley Crusher - Halfling thief.
Beverly Crusher - Human druid. (Yeah, I know this doesn't really work biologically.)

I think Klingons would definitely be giff. Vulcans and Romulans would be elves. Cardassians are dracons, and Ferengi are clearly neogi. The Borg could be beholders. Not sure what Bajorans would be, but they're boring anyway.

I didn't give much thought to DS9 or the horrors that followed, but Janeway was definitely a scro. And Harry Kim was a kobold.

10 comments:

  1. I don't know the Spelljammer stuff, but why is Scotty a Bard and Chekov a Tinker?

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  2. Scotty is a bard mainly because I couldn't decide which D&D class was most suited to an engineer. I finally decided that the AD&D 2nd edition bard (with which I'm most familiar) is supposed to be a jack-of-all-trades, which is what Scotty is.

    Chekov is a tinker-gnome purely because he just seems tinker-gnomish to me.

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  3. You must hate Troi.

    She's obviously a Psion (Telepath) with a high charisma and a Uniform of Distraction.

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  5. I'm sure I remember an episode of the original series in which Scotty fell under the influence of drink/aliens and started playing a lute or something in the mess. So bard works.

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  6. that'd be one trippy holodeck adventure.

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  7. The Myth: She does have a uniform of distraction (though not as bad as T'Paul or whatever her name was from Enterprise) but she is most definitely not blessed with any psionic ability. Her value is purely decorative, and not even that great in that respect. Troi is a matter on which I will brook no dissent!

    Kelvingreen: Almost as if I knew... but I didn't unfortunately.

    Jerry Cornelius: That reminds me: I forgot Reg Barclay! Human... mage? With a charisma of 4.

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  8. I don't know what a Scro is, but I feel safe inferring they're just terrible.

    Now do Little House on the Prairie!

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