Friday, 25 May 2012

Chaos My Ride

I postulated a theory on Google+ just now: if you put the word "Chaos" before any animal, monster, or mythical being, it instantly makes it sound cooler.

Try it. Chaos dog. Chaos monkey. Chaos unicorn. Chaos goat. Chaos wasp. Chaos ghost. It never gets old.

To make an animal a chaos animal, take the ordinary version and then roll d3 times on the following table:

1. Extra hit dice
2. Can phase as a phase spider
3. Can breathe fire (2d6)
4. Can breathe ice (1d6)
5. Can breathe poisoned gas (2d6; save vs poison halves damage)
6. Can breathe lightning (2d6)
7. Can breathe CHAOS (3d6; save vs magic or be teleported d500 metres in a random direction)
8. Immune to normal weapons
9. Half damage from fire
10. Half damage from cold
11. Two heads
12. Three heads
13. Four heads
14. Extra pair of legs
15. Human hands instead of feet
16. Human face
17. Human nose
18. Can speak; always lies
19. Can cast a random spell once per day
20. Can cast a random cleric spell once per day
21. Can gate demons d3 times per day
22. Makes no sound
23. Translucent
24. Invisible
25. Blue
26. Red
27. Purple
28. Yellow
29. Zebra striped
30. +4 AC
31. Moves at double speed
32. Never surprised
33. Extra eyes
34. Deadly poison (save versus poison)
35. Spits acid (d6 damage first turn, d3 damage second and third turn)
36. Causes fear
37. Gaze petrifies as medusa
38. Can always detect nearest source of treasure
39. Can always detect nearest source of treasure; always goes in the other direction
40. Can cast darkness, 15' radius three times per day. Always does so when 'stressed'
41. Likes women, hates men
42. Likes men, hates women
43. Can fly

Bored now. Add your own.


  1. As a 40K player, I assure you that given the right context it very much can get old. :)

    Anyway, great table!

    1. "me too"

      I was about to post something about 40K as well. :-D

      40K needs to replace "chaos" with "demons," "devils," and "evil."

      The moral panic about RPGs from the 80s is over.

  2. 44 doubles opponents size every time they strike.

  3. 45 poison that weakens the liver - enjoying alcohol causes intense pain.
    46 confers sleeping sickness - victims needs 1d4 more hours of sleep to be rested
    47 If killed, will return in 1d12 days to hunt down it's killers. Brings 1d8 friends.
    48 those who are killed by the beastie, explodes, dealing 2d6 dmg to everyone within 20 feet. Save halves.
    49 if killed, the corpse is transformed into the corpse of something cute, and will cause a feeling of guilt in the players, like a kitten (or worse).
    50 Drools worms.

  4. 51 infinitely replicates and devours replicas for sustenance
    52 features constantly ripple around its body
    53 is hollow and easily smashable, doing so will release spores that make tiny versions of itself grow from all they hit
    54 doesn't connect with the ground right, footprints appear in different places to where it's feet pressed
    55 limbs drip off it and lie twitching as new ones are regrown constantly
    56 mouth torso
    57 back feet stay rooted to ground, waist and above can extend infinitely
    58 randomly imitates the dialogue of people the PC's have met before
    59 when killed, splits open to reveal a smaller version of itself, russian doll style, multiple times
    60 explodes

    1. Ha, just read number 55 and thought about "Hänsel and Gretel", but with limbs instead of breadrumbs...

  5. 61 Small mutated twin on back/stomach (Quato style).
    62 Covered in angry boils that explode infectious pus on others.
    63 Eyes are shriveled and mummified. Make Con save or start becoming a dried up crusty mummy yourself.
    64 Body is covered in writhing maggots that pop in and out of skin.
    65 Body is covered in mouths that scream in agony. Make a Wisdom based save or cower in fear.
    66 No skin
    67 Large Titan style body. Hurts when it punches you.
    68 Constant muffled buzzing is heard from creature. Vomits a swarm of bees! Bees! With stingers!
    69 Half Pig/half human face that looks to be in constant tormented pain.
    70 Painful bone spurs grow out of flesh and act as a great defense. 1d4 damage to those the creature grapples.

  6. 71 Is actually made from a swarm of tiny, intelligent dogs.
    72 Causes trauma wounds that harden into Lapis Lazuli.
    73 Bleeds music, beautiful beautiful music, starts as a full orchestra, ends as a drum beat.
    74 Shoots lumescent jellyfish from it's eyes. They sting once then float to the ceiling and cast a pretty glow.
    75 Is actually quite nice, possessed by an evil spirit inhabiting a fancy hat.
    76 Makes you so angry when you fight it that your weapons freeze into obsidian shards.
    77 Is you from the future! This is what you become! Kill it and you kill yourself! NOOOOOOOO!
    78 Its a frightened man in a really good monster suit. He's more afraid of you than you are of him.
    79 Makes you feel really good when you fight it. Like you're in an 80's power ballad. You dont even want the fight to stop. SO ENPOWERED!
    80 Smells just like your mum. It's really freaking you out.

  7. 81 is an undercover agent of law, and all his "chaos" powers are faked somehow
    82 has a 1-6 chance to go out of phase per turn, and cannot act or do anything as well as it can't get harmed or interacted with

  8. I wrote a whole book of stuff you could add to this table: