Monday, 21 May 2012

Let's Stat Up People Appearing In Old Paintings

See that guy in the foreground, on our left? Who is he? And if you were statting him up for the game of your choice, what would his stats be?


  1. Why, it is none other than the Magus Gamberoni, who when challenged to make good on the boast that he had more sorcery in his big toe than any other wizard had in his whole body, stretched out that digit while the rest of him ostentatiously concentrated on cracking nuts, and with it ensorcelled Lady Egeria's whippet with the gift of speech and the curse of telling only the truth.

    The whippet was later burned at the stake at the request of Lady Egeria.

    (Sorry, too lazy for stats.)

  2. It's Alfred the Stiff. He still suffers from an encounter with a cross-eyes medusa that managed to turn his right leg into stone. While fighting for a living is no longer an option he does enjoy the game of, "Let's see how many people can sit on my leg."

    S: 9 (he no longer can workout), I: 9 (he was not to bright to begin with), W: 8 (he's sitting on a chair that's sitting on a dog), D: 5 (has a move of 1 because of old stiffy), C: 15 (still a stout fellow), Ch: 9 (let's face it, a man in white tights is never going to gain much respect).

  3. Done.

  4. Given White Tights represent a degree of nakedness on his part and allow for others to see his 'manhood' which he conceals with his leg - he has a high ego. Effectively he is attempting to get the attention of the lady opposite while holding something that vaguely resembles a penis. Lets Put him at: Ch(13).

    Lets call him Alundo, Unemployed Son of a bureaucrat, and potential Suitor. His ego isn't self secure enough to be self employed and worthy of the respect of others based entirely on his own merits. So lets say Ch (13), Str (12), Con (12), Dex(16), Int (11), Wis(8). Not exactly the sort you want as a Son in law but more than likely to get what he wants eventually.