They're Eating the Apostrophes

Patrick Stuart has a new Kickstarter in the offing - and he has managed to reveal himself as having the testicular fortitude of a leviathan in the process: the new book will be a novel, not a game.

Why does this require special gumption? Because, as has long been my theory, the Truth That Dare Not Speak Its Name about RPG designers, and particularly OSR ones, is that they would dearly love to be fantasy novelists but: a) don't have the wherewithal; b) are scared to take the plunge; c) are put off by the gamekeepy nature of contemporary publishing.

Patrick is here making a sincere and concerted effort to show the way, and to reveal the rest of us to be cowards, charlatans and shams in the process. And he should be applauded as a visionary and pioneer.

With the compliments out of the way, though, let me make an additional comment: the title of Patrick's proposed book is nothing short of a travesty. He has called it Queen Mabs [sic] Palace. Not Queen Mab's Palace. But Mabs. Queen Mabs. 

He needs to be told that this is an insult to the English language. He needs to be told that if he doesn't like apostrophes he should go and live in Hungary or Finland or South Korea or some other lamentable place where apostrophes are not understood or known. He needs to be made aware that the Queen, the real queen, the forever queen, Elizabeth II - and probably Elizabeth I as well, not to mention Mary and Anne - is rolling in her grave at the thought that her rules of grammar should be traduced in this way. This is the language of Shakespeare, Patrick. The language of Spenser. The language of Chaucer. Of Eliot. Of Hardy. Of Fitzgerald. Of Hemingway. Of Proust. Well, not Proust. But all of the others, and more. All of those people saw fit to obey the rules of English grammar as they pertained to the apostrophe, Patrick. And you think you are above them. This is wrong. Repent. And hope that you will be forgiven.

Queen Mab's Palace will be backable from October 1st. Back it. But let its author know that apostrophes matter, and his wanton disregard for them is part of what is leading us into societal decline.