Reviewing the Covers of a Miscellany of Treasures Found in an Old Box in the Cellar

The other day I was doing a clearout of old junk and came across a box filled with books put into storage from a childhood bookshelf. Below, they are pasted in all their glory. Behold them, DESPAIR, and MARVEL. I will now commence to review and rank them. Reviews are based on artistic merit, excitement level, and innovation, marked in the traditional way (1-5 bec des corbins), with the marks averaged and an overall ranking produced. 

There is something faintly ridiculous about this cover, for all that it depicts something fabulous and for all its technical merit. Is it really plausible to imagine that his quads are strong enough for him to ride around on those tigers all the way across a semi-frozen lake? Does he not feel the burn? Does his facial expression not lack a certain je ne sais quoi? Bonus point, however, for creative and tasteful deployment of a cod-piece. 

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 3, Innovation: 2.

It is a tower of destruction and it destroys. I loved this image as a child, and I love it still. Take that, innocent village of innocent villagers! Tell me that the image, while fairly by-the-numbers in the grand scheme of things, does not want to make you play the book.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 2

This, on the other hand, is, to use the technical expression, pants. Lacking in motion or vibrancy, it appears to depict not so much a demon as a vaguely non-plussed and rather sheepish looking skeleton who is not so much brandishing his weapons as showing them off to his audience. He is accompanied by two fish-men goons who appear to be almost a backing chorus. This is poorly executed.

Artistic merit: 2, Excitement level: 1, Innovation: 1

This is an example of a particular genre of RPG/Gamebook art, which depicts fantasy creatures interacting in some way with the paraphernalia associated with the game (in this case it is dice, which is normally the case, but it could be pens or paper or a rulebook). This runs contrary to my taste (I can't fathom why this approach could be considered more exciting than a depiction of an actual 'in game' event), although I do quite like the way the tigerman slobbers ravenously, and the strangely haunted looking dwarf emerging from the dice itself.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 1, Innovation: 1.

This is a decent, spooky picture, perhaps rather derivative of every early Stephen King cover you have seen, and with an oddly lacklustre horned vampire fellow here at the front. Good evil ents, though.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 3, Innovation: 1.

It is quite hard to argue that this is a good picture. Indeed, I am struggling to find merit in it. Is there any merit in it? It is, at least, distinctive. Is distinctiveness good even if the image is bad? I will leave this question to the philosophers in my readership.

Artistic merit: 1, Excitement level: 1, Innovation: 3.

I love this one. Yes, it's cheesy. But they had me at, 'An image of an army of baddies descending from a mountain fortress'. Add a glaring, self-evidently mostrously evil warlock at the top and you have some tasty icing on top of the cake.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 2.

I can remember this cover scaring me as a child. I didn't like looking at it, and the figure of the sorcerer has from time to time haunted my nightmares since then. Seen through adult eyes, I think it is a great piece, for what it is, although perhaps the facial expression on the sorcerer lacks some of the necessary bile.

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 3.

This is a nicely conceived image which hits all the right notes - I love the little details, like the morning start hanging from the orc's belt, and his tigerskin whatever-it-is (cummerbund?). It also conveys a sense of mystery. What is going on? Those who have read the book will know, but put your mind into the head of a 9-year-old boy seeing it for the firsst time.

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 3.  

This, after the two previous highs, is a little bit of a comedown. This is not a bad picture, and I have to say I love the wicked look on the skeleton's face and the gloominess of the atmosphere. But it lacks dynamism. Okay, it's a city of thieves. But what is depicted looks small and rather uninspiring.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 2, Innovation: 2.

A totally iconic fantasy picture, for me, as The Forest of Doom was the first Fighting Fantasy I ever read, and the cover was a major part of what hooked me. It looked very grown up and very sophisticated in comparison to what I had previously been reading; I just knew, when I saw it, that I wanted to know what was inside. I still think it's a great picture, made special by the beams of sunlight filtering down through the trees, and the sheer menace of the cloaked figure on the front.

Artistic merit: 5, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 3.

A lot of Fighting Fantasy covers are like this: an image of a monster just sort of standing there, striking a pose. It has a rote feeling to it. This is sufficient for somebody who is already bought in, and who wants to complete his set of books. But it is not inspiring.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 2, Innovation: 1.

The Crimson Tide is a strange book, and the cover image is almost surreal - two guards, one looking like a shark-man and the other a mole-man, both winged, and both wearing quasi-Japanese, quasi-Arabian armour, stand over a prisoner or slave, while other animal-headed figures lurk in the background and a throned figure guffaws with glee. What the fuck is going on? It's so long since I've read it, I can't remember, but the image is certainly different to others in the Fighting Fantasy line.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 4.

Two for the price of one. I love these pictures. The almost hyper-realistic style works brilliantly, and the images are so dynamic even if there are quibbles over composition. I wish I had the first in the Advanced series, but sadly I never got it - it was in the local library, and those were the days when 'having it in the local library' was sufficient for most purposes.

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 3.

The contents of this book are forgettable - or, at least, I've forgotten them. There seemed to be hundreds of these TSR novels being churned out every year, and this did not particularly stand out. With that said, I think this cover looks great. Except for the subject matter, one could almost imagine it hanging in a gallery as an example of a piece of art from the romantic era depicting a biblical or classical scene. My one complaint is that Kaz's facial expression does not quite fit in with the action - why is he looking in the viewer's direction, rather than that of the dragon?

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 4.

I like the artistic direction behind the Legends of Lone Wolf novel series (well worth tracking down, if memory serves), but this is one of the weaker covers. The sword arm of the humanoid figure (who I think must be Lone Wolfe) is all wrong, and the monster looks almost timid and retiring. Could have been so much better with the right execution.

Artistic merit: 2, Excitement level: 2, Innovation: 3.

There is something about a picture of a powerful magic user emerging from a black hole, surrounded by fire and lightning, that just speaks to me. This is a striking, expressionistic image that manages to convey something of the awe and fear that our protagonist, in chains in the foreground, must feel. I like it, and can forgive some flaws in execution (again - what is going on with Lone Wolf's arms?).

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 3.

This is an image of real charm, and I remember the scene it depicts from the book very well, depite having only fragmentary memories of the series as a whole. The look on the character's face (somebody reading this will remember his name) is priceless, and the prospective reader really wants to find out more about what the scene depicts and the story in which it is set. 

Artistic merit: 5, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 3.

This is another wonderfully moody and atmospheric piece, with bonus points for being exceptionally appealing to the eyes of an adolescent boy. See what I mean about the artistic direction behind the covers in this series? This is classy work.

Artistic merit: 5, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 3.

This is not a piece one would have hanging on one's wall. But I find it effective in an expressionistic way. The boat really looks like it is moving - an effect which is hard to achieve - and even that it is about to spring out from the cover and into reality. This book sticks in my memory because the opening scene involves Lone Wolf stabbing somebody in the eyeball, which when I read it - aged twelve or whatever - struck me as the most amazing thing ever to have been committed to paper.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 3.

This is a phenomenal image. Everything about it is great. I want this one hanging on my wall.

Artistic merit: 5, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 3.

The flying beasts here (I wish I could remember the name of the species in question) are depicted with lovely dynamism and skill, and there is something pleasingly minimalist and stark about the overall image. One can imagine these things being about to swoop down to snatch helpless prey spotted far below - and the sun in the background, like something off a metal album cover, completes the scene.

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 3.

I have not read this book since I was an adolescent, though I have fond memories of the contents. The cover image is dreadful, though - like a poor imitation of The Return to Firetop Mountain. The demon in the background looks far too cartoonish to be plausible, and what is going on with that chaos warrior's axe? Depicting forward or backward motion is one of the hardest things for an artist to pull-off, and whoever did this piece was very ill-advised in making the attempt. I quite like the bloodletter of Khorne, though.

Artistic merit: 2, Excitement level: 2, Innovation: 1.

I love the sweep of the warlock's arms here, and the sense of motion in the smoke and whatever magical dry ice is being depicted. This is really best concieved in the genre of 'powerful magic user strike a pose', which has been a feature of the covers reviewed here, and one that I have a real weakness for. Imagine looking at this image while your favourite metal riff is being played in the background, and tell me that the result is not awesome in the strict sense.

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 4, Innovation: 3.

The final cover here does not quite work. It is interesting that the samurai's back banner literally means 'bad death' - although the characters are not quite right - but the way he is prancing about on that bridge is not really plausible or becoming bad guy behaviour.

Artistic merit: 2, Excitement level: 2, Innovation: 2.

Final Ranking

1 - The Dark Door Opens

1 - The Book of the Magnakai

1 - The Forest of Doom

4 - Caverns of the Snow Witch

4 - Advanced Fighting Fantasy combo

4 - Kaz the Minotaur

4 - The Sacrifice of Ruanon

8 - Crypt of the Sorcerer

8 - The Warlock of Firetop Mountain

8 - The Crimson Tide

8 - The Secret of Kazan-Oud

8 - Eclipse of the Kai

13 - Tower of Destruction

13 - Return to Firetop Mountain

13 - The Sword of the Sun

16 - Daggers of Darkness

17 - House of Hell

17 - City of Thieves

17 - The Lorestone of Varetta

20 - Temple of Terror

20 - Sword of the Samurai

22 - Fighting Fantasy

22 - Citadel of Chaos

22 - Konrad 

25 - Demons of the Deep